"Green Eggs and Hamlet" - Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9
Another poem celebrating (?) English pronounciation
Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!!
Oh God, oh God, oh God, insane fury, sputter sputter, I can’t even think about it without wanting to hurl a copy of it to the floor and stomp on it - “Zami: A New Spelling of My Name” would be my choice.
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (obvs.)
Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
Paris Trout by Pete Dexter
Specimen Days by Michael Cunningham
I’m with you on The Da Vinci Code. The writing is so incredibly bad. I couldn’t believe it was that popular.
I’m listening to Yahoo Launchcast innocently listening to the What’s Next? channel when I could swear I heard….maybe I didn’t hear correctly…nope, she definitely just said “Let me smell yo dick.” Wow, way to keep it classy “Riskay”.
EDIT: The video is even better than I could have imagined.
I always thought the theme was influenced by a song I saw in a movie once. I think it was called Manhattan (maybe) and it was from the 20’s or 30’s. I’ve been looking for it online, but haven’t been able to find it.
Messy-haired Scarred Boy and the Room That Shouldn’t Be Talked About
The Place Where Unruly Monsters Run Around
Land Surrounded By Water and the Coloful Sea Mammals
The Small Dwelling on the Plain
Where the Maroon Plant Sprouts
I Will Cherish You For All Time
A Bunch of Stories About Unlucky Things That Happen
A Slight Crease in an Indefinite Amount of Hours
A Yellow Round Thing With an Arrow That Spins
Strong Very Young Men Detectives
The Native American in the Cabinet
Ebony Male Equine
Small Young Ladies
Village of Warm Coals
Stories of an Elementary School Loser
Do Not Allow The Gray & White Bird to Conduct the Large Vehicle
Over the Hill Screamer
Journal of a Weakling Child
We had a “Children’s Party” in our stores across the country this past Saturday. One of the stores created this as an activity. We worked on it in my last meeting and I thought it was pretty fun, especially if you like children’s books like I do. I’ll post the answers later if you’re interested.
I’ve discovered my thoughts on this were right, I’m pretty sure I actually am an introvert.
Here’s one of the definitions I’ve found for it.
Definition: Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.
Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to “recharge.”
When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.
Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk.
I have discovered over the past few months that I am a complete introvert.
Something I figured out about myself in high school. Completely dead on.
Yep, that’s true. When I tell people that I score as an introvert on the Meyers-Briggs, they never believe me because they don’t see me as shy. This explains an introvert very well.
lost. We say, ‘Please, God, tell us what is right. Tell us what’s true. There is no justice. The rich win, the poor are powerless…’ We become tired of hearing people lie. After a time we become dead. A little dead. We start thinking of ourselves as victims.
And we become victims.
And we become weak… and doubt ourselves, and doubt our institutions… and doubt our beliefs… we say for example, ‘The law is a sham… there is no law… I was a fool for having believed there was.’
But today you are the law. You are the law… And not some book and not the lawyers, or the marble statues and the trappings of the court… all that they are is symbols.
Of our desire to be just…
All that they are, in effect, is a prayer…
…a fervent, and a frightened prayer.
In my religion we say, ‘Act as if you had faith, and faith will be given to you.’
If… If we would have faith in justice, we must only believe in ourselves.
And act with justice.
And I believe that there is justice in our hearts.
[He stands still a moment, then surveys the still courtroom.]
I can’t figure out what is going on. I’ve gotten 16 hits just today for people searching google images for “just one of the guys.” I didn’t even post the picture that is linked originally, and it’s from a movie from the 80’s. Why are so many people searching for it today!?!
“Do you really deny yourselves the pleasure of mastering a tune (a pleasure, incidentally, that your generation is perhaps the first in the history of man to forego) because you are afraid it might make you look as if you don’t know who Harold Bloom is? Wow. I bet you’re fun at parties.”—