What do you make in your milk? Nothing. You make nothing in your milk. Your milk is just milk and that’s it. Goats produce SPIDER SILK IN THEIR MILK. THEY LACTATE SPIDER SILK.
That spider silk is harvested and used for bulletproof vests. Goat milk is bulletproof. Is your breast milk bulletproof? No.
Could you fucking climb a craggy ass rock mountain? Doubt it. Goats can. And they love it. They do it for fun, just for shits and giggles. They like the challenge.
He isn’t even mad. He’s getting some exercise. That’s all. Good for you if you can run the Boston Marathon. This guy can climb the highest mountain in like a day, so fuck you.
Scientists are unable to track the sleep/wake cycle of wild goats because their sleeping patterns are so rare and unpredictable. They’ve come to the conclusion that they rest by other means, and just don’t sleep.
They only wait.
Did I mention they have HORIZONTAL PUPILS
BECAUSE THESE HARDASS MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE HORIZONTAL PUPILS
This goat is in the snow because it doesn’t care about what you think. But if you don’t think goats are the most badass animal in the entire animal kingdom then you’re wrong.
"You're making choices with your face that an idiot would make."
Googling “Dan Harmon+community” in the news section took me down a rabbit hole to a My____ blog he wrote in 2007. I’m laughing, and I’m sad, and I don’t know if I can keep watching Community without him at the helm.
Maureen Ryan wrote a negative review of The Sarah Silverman Program in 2007 (Dan was a producer/writer), and he responded as we’ve come to expect - with a nasty comment followed by a longer post on his blog. This post made me laugh out loud and also admire that Maureen could appreciate the humor in the insults enough to read them (anonymously) at a Funny Ha-Ha show, twice. The post is below, my favorite section bolded.
I just read the beginning of your article. Then I stopped.
In the scene you’re describing, the police are chuckling at the futility of Sarah’s stated goal to find another way around the wheelchair marathon.
They’re not explaining that the “molten lava” joke was funny.
You actually had to alter the script for your critique to apply. You had to skip a line of dialogue and change the meaning.
Were you just not paying attention, or are you dishonest, and in either case, how did you get a job telling anyone what’s funny?
Look at the title of your column, Maureen. “The Watcher?” If you’re a watcher, why are you writing, and if you’re a writer, why are you watching? You’re living off my chops. You’re on writer’s welfare, and I’m paying for it. I create things for you to write about disliking over ambrosia salad. You’re welcome.
Have you looked at the photo of yourself next to your column’s heading? You look like an idiot. I don’t mean God shaped you like an idiot, I mean you’re making choices with your face that an idiot would make. I’m looking into the 3 pixels that represent your eyes and right into your unremarkable soul. I can see all the craving for recognition, I can see all the swallowed dreams nestled in the ulcerated lining of your stomach.
I would recommend suicide, but there’s a chance you’d do it, because my words tend to have an effect. Not bragging. Observing.
I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, but my words affected you, and you’re an effective person, so that makes me effective.”
No. That makes me sensitive. Which, incidentally, is what makes me effective.
So, that’s about it. Soak this up. Something special just brushed across you. Odds are it will never happen again.
I wish you good watching.
Can Community really go on without Dan’s passion for his work leading the way?
“Steven Seagal is a striking and somewhat boyishly handsome looking (often with ponytail) and usually impeccably dressed action star who burst onto the martial arts film scene in 1988 in the fast-paced Warner Bros. film Above the Law (1988).”—
from the IMB biography of Steven Seagal (via joestarr)
Some thoughts while watching Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
These special effects are b-movie cheesy.
Dr. Dre’s Chronic is one of the best albums of all time.
I loved the early 2000’s.
I had forgotten how much I loved Even Stevens-era Shia LaBeouf.
I miss Bernie Mac.
Oh my god, is that Melissa McCarthy in the end credit scenes?
Justin Theroux should walk shirtless through a wall of fire everyday.