- Them: look
- Me: I saw that already
nancy pelosi is a seal.
modesty is not my strong suit.
royal wedding fervor!
the salt turns the bodies into mummies.
why is it called a sport coat??
it’s a great movie but not a break up movie.
hunching is a weird word.
first memories of life ever.
looks like a horse.
i wish tear (from crying) and tear (from…tearing something up) weren’t spelled the same
no perfume just phermones
so you think you know what the most badass animal is
well you’re wrong because the most badass animal is actually the goat
why, you ask? well let me hit you with some KNOWLEDGE
You’re allergic to poison ivy. Goats aren’t. Goats EAT poison ivy.
Rash? No, fuck you. Nutrition, that’s what.
What do you make in your milk? Nothing. You make nothing in your milk. Your milk is just milk and that’s it. Goats produce SPIDER SILK IN THEIR MILK. THEY LACTATE SPIDER SILK.
That spider silk is harvested and used for bulletproof vests. Goat milk is bulletproof. Is your breast milk bulletproof? No.
Could you fucking climb a craggy ass rock mountain? Doubt it. Goats can. And they love it. They do it for fun, just for shits and giggles. They like the challenge.
He isn’t even mad. He’s getting some exercise. That’s all. Good for you if you can run the Boston Marathon. This guy can climb the highest mountain in like a day, so fuck you.
Scientists are unable to track the sleep/wake cycle of wild goats because their sleeping patterns are so rare and unpredictable. They’ve come to the conclusion that they rest by other means, and just don’t sleep.
They only wait.
Did I mention they have HORIZONTAL PUPILS
BECAUSE THESE HARDASS MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE HORIZONTAL PUPILS
This goat is in the snow because it doesn’t care about what you think. But if you don’t think goats are the most badass animal in the entire animal kingdom then you’re wrong.
For Robert Moog’s 78th birthday they’ve created a moog that you can play and record!
Googling “Dan Harmon+community” in the news section took me down a rabbit hole to a My____ blog he wrote in 2007. I’m laughing, and I’m sad, and I don’t know if I can keep watching Community without him at the helm.
Maureen Ryan wrote a negative review of The Sarah Silverman Program in 2007 (Dan was a producer/writer), and he responded as we’ve come to expect - with a nasty comment followed by a longer post on his blog. This post made me laugh out loud and also admire that Maureen could appreciate the humor in the insults enough to read them (anonymously) at a Funny Ha-Ha show, twice. The post is below, my favorite section bolded.
I just read the beginning of your article. Then I stopped.
In the scene you’re describing, the police are chuckling at the futility of Sarah’s stated goal to find another way around the wheelchair marathon.
They’re not explaining that the “molten lava” joke was funny.
You actually had to alter the script for your critique to apply. You had to skip a line of dialogue and change the meaning.
Were you just not paying attention, or are you dishonest, and in either case, how did you get a job telling anyone what’s funny?
Look at the title of your column, Maureen. “The Watcher?” If you’re a watcher, why are you writing, and if you’re a writer, why are you watching? You’re living off my chops. You’re on writer’s welfare, and I’m paying for it. I create things for you to write about disliking over ambrosia salad. You’re welcome.
Have you looked at the photo of yourself next to your column’s heading? You look like an idiot. I don’t mean God shaped you like an idiot, I mean you’re making choices with your face that an idiot would make. I’m looking into the 3 pixels that represent your eyes and right into your unremarkable soul. I can see all the craving for recognition, I can see all the swallowed dreams nestled in the ulcerated lining of your stomach.
I would recommend suicide, but there’s a chance you’d do it, because my words tend to have an effect. Not bragging. Observing.
I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, but my words affected you, and you’re an effective person, so that makes me effective.”
No. That makes me sensitive. Which, incidentally, is what makes me effective.
So, that’s about it. Soak this up. Something special just brushed across you. Odds are it will never happen again.
I wish you good watching.
Can Community really go on without Dan’s passion for his work leading the way?