One more time, with feeling!

Dec 03

toe reading , become a toe reader, learn to read toes -

Yes, this is real. What’s next, personality tests by feeling bumps on the head?

“What in the reverse Porky’s is going on here?” —

Security Guard on Community

EDIT: I replaced rent-a-cop, because I hate that term and I have no idea why I used it.

[video]

How a web design goes straight to hell -

heather-rivers:

The hardest I have laughed in a long, long time

Love this!

Dec 02

ryandoescomedy: This is my favorite review of the future classic “Steven Seagal Lawman” Action star Steven Seagal, solid and broad as a jug of molasses, lets us ride along with him in a squad car as he works his other career: Deputy sheriff in Louisiana’s Jefferson Parish. His encounters are mundane but all potentially dangerous: There are a lot of guns on those streets. Seagal, solemnly unaware that he’s this close to being a character on Reno 911!, seldom fails to remind colleagues of his martial arts training. (I like the slo-mo close-ups that suggest his zen intuition as he watches for suspicious-looking people.) Then again wouldn’t you rather Seagal be the guy with the badge than Jean-Claude Van Damme? (3 out of 4 stars) People Magazine I don’t know if they’ve started printing “Lawman” hats and shirts yet, but as soon as they do, I will own several of each.

ryandoescomedy:

This is my favorite review of the future classic “Steven Seagal Lawman”

Action star Steven Seagal, solid and broad as a jug of molasses, lets us ride along with him in a squad car as he works his other career: Deputy sheriff in Louisiana’s Jefferson Parish. His encounters are mundane but all potentially dangerous: There are a lot of guns on those streets. Seagal, solemnly unaware that he’s this close to being a character on Reno 911!, seldom fails to remind colleagues of his martial arts training. (I like the slo-mo close-ups that suggest his zen intuition as he watches for suspicious-looking people.) Then again wouldn’t you rather Seagal be the guy with the badge than Jean-Claude Van Damme? (3 out of 4 stars)

People Magazine

I don’t know if they’ve started printing “Lawman” hats and shirts yet, but as soon as they do, I will own several of each.

[video]

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.” —

Clark Griswold, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

(via apsies) (via kittykittybangbang)

Flavors.me -

Let’s try this again. Last time I posted this link it was in beta and no one could actually see it. :)

Dec 01

via fc03.deviantart.net Adorable.

via fc03.deviantart.net

Adorable.

Rhesus T-shirt

Rhesus T-shirt

kayfabe: amandablaze:thedailywhat: Back To The Future Reference of the Day: There is nothing I don’t like about what’s happening here. [via.]

kayfabe:

amandablaze:thedailywhat:

Back To The Future Reference of the Day: There is nothing I don’t like about what’s happening here.

[via.]

complicatedshoes: Have Yourself A Horribly Traumatic Little Christmas A 50 foot Santa Claus was accidentally set ablaze in Santa Catarina, Brazil over the weekend, giving millions of children nightmares for years to come.

complicatedshoes:

Have Yourself A Horribly Traumatic Little Christmas

A 50 foot Santa Claus was accidentally set ablaze in Santa Catarina, Brazil over the weekend, giving millions of children nightmares for years to come.

Elfyourself

Am I the only person that sees that Jib Jab ElfYourself link on Facebook and EVERY TIME think it is saying Effyourself?

And then I’m like, eff yourself! And then I remember that I’m being way too negative about an innocent link.