Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life.
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Robert Louis Stevenson (via wbst) (via littleorphanammo) |
It’s 9:30 the night before Thanksgiving, and I’ve decided to bring something to the family dinner tomorrow…for the first time! I’m growing up, people!
Off to the grocery store!
(If you don’t know what that is, it’s Monkey Bread, and it’s DELICIOUS!)
GIMME THAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG
I ask all of you
Until you say “I do”
No front huggin’ or PDA
or EG time is through…
So if you end up here
Go ahead and scream it:
When I give a hug
I leave room for the Holy SpiritApparently “front hugging” is for harlots and sinners.
It’s satire, yo.
More like Racist Friday!
On Friday, a day when most people will not be at work, stores all across the country will hold what they’ll call Door Buster sales with people getting trampled running for merchandise like looters.
What do they call this day?
Black Friday.
That is racist.
DUH DUH DUH IM SMRT
its called BLACK friday because its when most companies bring their “books” (aka the amount of money theyve made” out of the RED (negative) and into the BLACK (positive)
so BLACK is associated with FINANCIAL GROWTH.
DUH.
hahaha how do people NOT know this?!
I think I need to start a tumblr for people that just don’t get the joke. These two rebloggers and this person would be featured first. I’m going to call it, “It’s a joke, Kay” after the old lady I worked with in high school. We’d have to explain everything to her, too.
Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet.
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No You Can't
“Yes you Cancun” is the worst and most horribly racially insensitive advertising campaign imaginable. I don’t think it was on purpose but how did it not come up? You think one person in that boardroom would have raised their hand and been like yeah..um about the end of that phrase… But somehow I now have tourism advertisements showing pictures of white families playing on the beach and a voice yelling, “Yes you Can..cun”. Please please, please stop.
”I’m a simple man. I like pretty dark haired women and breakfast food.”
- Ron Swanson, Parks & Recreation
Ron Swanson is a role model.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Beatles - Birthday
They say it’s your birthday. It’s my birthday too, yeah. They say it’s your birthday. We’re gonna have a good time.
Happy Birthday!
Thanks for putting the song in my head, and for reminding me of birthday parties at Showbiz Pizza. :)
“The errant ham ‘hit me full long in the face and ‘bout knocked me cuckoo, but I’m fine,’ a laughing Deen told WXIA-TV. She iced her nose to keep down the swelling.”
I couldn’t resist posting this when I saw it.
Rules for copy editors: historical note
The literally/figuratively rule is a variation of this old gem from the slot:
1. Replace very in the copy with goddamn.
2. Cut goddamn—this is a family newspaper.
